One of the many things that distinguishes handsome and intelligent Americans from our sun starved neighbors to the North is our charity.
As the Canadians lick their chops at the possibility of watching their team score eleven goals against a team from a country that’s never heard of hockey we at the Sleeping Giant are making a plea for you to help our cause.
Lambert and I worked with Right to Play last year during the playoffs when we became mercenary bloggers. They’re a charity that raises money so that children in places somehow worse than Canada can play sports. Some programs bring kids together across sociopolitical lines. Some programs just let kids be kids.
It sounds cheesy and overwrought but in this season where we all hope to get a new iPad or a plasma TV realize that donating five dollars to charity might let a child experience the simple joy of kicking a ball.
Despite our best efforts we know some of you awful Canadians have begun infiltrating our fortress of American values and rubber band noises only to crow about how one time in 1897 your team won Gold when the Americans weren’t invited to the tournament but that’s ok we have a plan for you too:
Justin Bourne from the Score’s Backhand Shelf was lucky enough to spend time with a real American on Friday night. His brother Jeff came along. Jeff was born with spina bifida and their charity raises funds to support research on this disease.
Save your Right to Play receipts Americans. We’ll tally the totals and prove that American fans are both more smarter and more charitabler than Canada.