Lunchpail Canadian Team Reduced to Celebrity RT Begging

"Oh you fancy, huh?"

“Oh you fancy, huh?”

Today Nathan Mackinnon, who will be immediately blamed by Canadians for not being Sidney Crosby, tweeted at the only artist available on Canadian radio due to CRTC regulation:

This is a terrifying development for any God fearing peace loving American: it would seem that Canadians have learned to read and will shortly be joining social media to bleat about 2009 when they last managed to win a tournament invented largely to convince Canada they’re good at something.

Master Mackinnon here makes an interesting choice reaching out to one Aubrey “Drake” Graham. Drake, aka. Drizzy aka “Can’t tell this guy apart from Lil’ Wayne”, like most Canadians spends his time looking South to America and asking himself “how can I be like them?”

NHLers are clearly excited by Mr. Graham's appearance. "Fist bump? Hand shake?"

NHLers are clearly excited by Mr. Graham’s appearance. “Fist bump? Hand shake?”

The tweet has been RTed by every literate Canadian so far except Mr. Graham and is closing in on 70 RTs as we hit publish. Hopefully Nathan Mackinnon gets his wish for a Drake RT on his birthday or if the unthinkable happens and his cat Mr. Mittens gets sick.

In the meantime both Drake albums will be played in full on all Canadian radio stations at their usual times tonight in order to meet Canadian programming quotas. Take Care if you live near the border, and feel free to Thank Me Later.