Underdogs sneak by superpower US

Can't we all just get along?

Can’t we all just get along?

In what will perhaps be known as The New Miracle On Ice, Canada somehow managed to defeat the US 2-1 today in Ufa, all but shattering whatever hopes the Americans had of being taken seriously just two days after losing to the Russians, who were not in any way favored in this tournament, by the same score.

“I can only speak for every single person in Canada when I say that beating the USA, who we spent months deriding as worse than a hockey team made up of boulders with smiley faces painted on them, is the crowning achievement of our nation. It’s a shame those Americans don’t have our same high priorities on the things that matter: near-point-per-game NHL-led squads winning by an entire goal,” said prime minister Stephen Harper.

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