We here at the Sleeping Giant know that the first and most important thing you care about when it comes to the annual IIHF World Junior Championship tournament is seeing the great and powerful United States rumble over all its helpless foes like a Sherman tank. And who, really, can blame you?
But it is important to heed the words of the ancient Chinese general Sun Tzu, who once said, “Know thy enemy as thyself.” And thus, we encourage you all to watch as many other games as you can, including those featuring the pathetic Canadian team. It’s not easy, and often a viewing of the final minutes of The Human Centipede is more visually and aurally pleasant, but it remains nonetheless important.
With this in mind, we are here to help you in any way we can, and if you’re not drawn in by the tantalizing prospect of watching Canada lose, as it did just now to the Swedes in a pre-tournament game, then perhaps this game we’ve invented will help you to cope.
Hockey Canada, and its official broadcast partner/propaganda machine TSN, are well known for their excuses, and now you can use them to play along at home as the Canuck menace get their brains beat in by Latvia or whoever.
If you are actually able to get this card filled out in full by the end of the tournament — hopefully with citations — the first person to send it our way will receive a free Sleeping Giant t-shirt (new design as yet unreleased!) when we get them made after the tournament ends.